we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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