remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
