What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
