how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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