Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
