his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
