I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize