Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
