So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
