He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
