Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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