i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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