Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is classic penis vs brain.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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