I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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