So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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