Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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