Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I looked at my own cervix.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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