My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize