He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
