Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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