Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
