my vag is so smooth its legendary
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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