my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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