i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
