Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am one with the molecules
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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