I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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