i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize