Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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