Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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