bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
