i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry about my life...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
