porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
