She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
