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• (786): View more from Florida

  Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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• (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression

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• (650): View more from California

  i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks

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