One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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