..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
