if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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