had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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