jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
