Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize