her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
