Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
