i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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