Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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