don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
