The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
