I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
