i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
