No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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