whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
