HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
