In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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