one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
