so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize