I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize