I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
