In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
