we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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