you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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