there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize