I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
