I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
