in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
