There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
