she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
