we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
